Reason # 128 I hate the NFL: The Man Cave
As authentically masculine men have retreated from the public sphere, so too have men retreated from their own homes. They haven’t retreated to the yard or the garage to do work though. No, they’ve retreated to luxurious “man caves.”
A Man Cave can be a basement, or a garage or a spare room that a man builds into a shrine of faux masculinity. It often includes an arm chair, a flat screen TV and several posters. It is a place a “man” can go to be by himself and watch NFL football all day on Sunday. Since the “man” no longer concerns himself with spending time with children or teaching them the spiritual heritage they are heirs to (as nearly all of his ancestors did on Sunday), he can retreat to a room with a mini fridge to drink light beer and watch the NFL.
The Man Cave bears a striking resemblance to a college dorm room, or even Greg Brady’s sweet pad from the Brady Bunch (except for the lava lamp of course). There are posters and mini fridges, as I’ve mentioned. In addition the man is wearing a jersey like a college intramural sports player, he screams nonsense at the television, drinks cheap beer and tries to forget he has any true responsibility in the world. He’s constructed a fantasy world that makes it seem like he’s an adolescent again. Wives must especially hate the man cave, mostly because they are relegated to the adolescent boy-man’s mother and need to fix him meat loaf or tang with bagel bites. What the children are doing and the state of disrepair of the house, the boy-man cares not. What the Detroit Lions do in the third half occupies his mind.
In short, the 128th reason I hate the NFL is because it takes the man out of the family and relegates himself to a palace made of children’s jerseys, cheap beer, and children’s games. The popular culture has told men they can’t be men any longer. That’s sexist. So, men retreat to these “last stands” of their supposed masculinity. But they’re not bastions of masculinity… they’re palaces of adolescence. Sure there’s football and beer there. But what there isn’t is a strong father willing to be a forceful presence in the home for good and the good of his children. He’s more concerned with the Dolphins’ secondary than being an actual father in his own home.